metafictions | jigokucho

I don’t entirely trust you yet. You’re a yokai. But…

[It clicks. He’s heard of this before. Emily hasn’t mentioned Hakagemachi before, but their possessions had carried on, hadn’t they? Given her unusual appearance, it’s a good guess.]

We aren’t complete strangers. You are a friend of a friend.

What’s your name? Clearly, you know mine.

A bold thing to ask, Uehara, when you admit you don't trust me. But I would be chastised enough should I refuse.

[they shrug, and somehow do it with their wings as well.]

I go by Hibiki. And you're right, we have a mutual friend between us - one who is safely asleep, before you start worrying, without risk of awakening at the moment.

Would you believe me, [he says, approaching with measured, careful steps,] if I told you I did?

Hello, Hibiki. Thank you for showing yourself to me.

[Kamui gives "Emily" a once over. She appears safe, and whole: maybe her tag-along is as cooperative as that of the man he'd spoken to on the network some weeks ago.]

So Emily comes to Jigoku-cho via Hakagemachi. Does she know you wander at night?

We have an arrangement.

[or rather, they're closer knit than most people's youkais were, after the ritual Emily went and subjected herself to. now, they could do this with impunity, but it serves them better to get along.

as Kamui draws closer, the change in their bearing is also evident - where Emily keeps herself contained, a little rigid, Hibiki is more lax and freer, less tension in their frame. only the tightly pinned bun to keep hair back is as neat as Emily would like it.]

But that town's name didn't cross our lips. You must have a reliable source of information, to be able to deduce that much. Which begs the question of how much you truly know.

Username 'majima'. Username 'hardcore'. They spoke of the town freely.

[he glances around. it's well-lit, but it's still not particularly safe to stand around in the dead of night.]

Shall we continue our night stroll?

[there's a slight narrowing of their eyes to know that other people were so free with their business - it wasn't a huge secret, yet still, a careless elaboration to be made. it didn't sit right with them - but with all the bearing of a noble, they dip their head and nod.]

Yes. Do lead on, for I've concluded my business here. And Uehara...don't think you know the entire story solely because you heard two versions of it. The paths are invisible, from too high a point.

I'm not that presumptuous, Hibiki-san.

[To Emily's place, then. He knows the way by now, even how to take a slightly more scenic route. It isn't every day one gets to converse with the spirit possessing a friend, and he could do to kill a bit of time. As he passes them to walk ahead, he sees the faint, inhuman glow to their eyes for the first time; that green, like an animal's eyeshine but more sustained than a flash of reflective light, is assuredly not his friend. At least not now.

Their footsteps fall into an easy rhythm; Hibiki, Kamui notes, even walks differently from Emily, their footfalls faster and-- somehow-- quieter.]

May I ask what your business was? That was a funeral parlor, wasn't it?

You may ask, but I may choose not to answer.

[so, that's a no. with their condition already exposed on the network, he'll have to work a little harder to find out what they were doing there late at night.]

Now, if you ask what someone should be doing at a funeral parlor, that's different. Some go to mourn, some to converse with the staff, some for ashes of the dead.

And do you have an aim tonight, beyond a simple walk?

Fair enough. [Coming out and asking did seem a bit too easy, anyway.]

You don't seem to be in mourning, and you haven't got any ashes with you, as far as I can see. I wonder if you've been making friends on Emily's off hours, Hibiki-san.

[he trails off, thinking. he does, and yet he doesn't.]

I'm feeling the wind. More specifically, the weight of this world's air. Do you know what I'm getting at?

[their head tilts, considering, before they nod.]

And have you reached any conclusions about it? Has the wind spoken, and told you where it has been?

No. I've heard nothing at all. Usually, there's...

[He turns to Hibiki, the voice of a near-stranger, seeing Emily's face; is it right to tell them, before he tells her? Is this not telling them both, in a way?

Would it simply make more sense to a yokai, who also exists out of normal space?

He sighs. Closes his mouth and stops. Begins again.]

I can feel the boundary lines. Where the wind and air cannot travel. In this city... in Jigoku-cho... I feel senseless and blind. It's disorienting. That's what I've concluded.

[instead of looking at him oddly, or asking him to explain, there's a thoughtful look on their face, truly considering his words. in a way, they understand - know what it is to lose part of what makes one themselves, things that linger in an innate way.

the question then becomes how one copes. some disappear, some go mad. in that crumbling city, some of them became parasites. losing track of the self, until all that was left was howls, teeth, and the desperation to survive.

if this man loses too much, what will become of him? if he falters, and what is contained spills over to poison the ground.

instead of saying that, they jerk their head in a different direction from the one he was intending, deciding to step up and lead. there are better places to have conversations like this, where the city doesn't listen in a hundred ears.]

You're left adrift without a map or a trail to walk down. Things that were familiar to grasp are now not there. Branches broken under your feet, gone from the rot. Do I have the measure of it?

[A being born in shadow, craving the light. What he wants feels impossible-- the power to transform his world and the freedom to live-- even moreso in this city, without guidance, without the constant direction of the next point on the timeline and the point after that and after that. How can he forge his own path if he can't even feel the abstract shape of this world, like he can of every other place he's been?

How else to destroy an Observer than to take away their eyes?

Left floating adrift, or led astray, Kamui will break. That's what had happened to every prototype Kamui and Ayame before him in line, after all. If only he, too, could be anything but the perfect Kamui Uehara.]

Yes...

[It's Emily's image he follows on reflex. They're going somewhere else-- where, he doesn't know-- but Hibiki wouldn't endanger their host, it stands to reason.]

Where are we going?

A place that isn't open during daylight hours. Keep up - I'm not going to show you the path again.

[they say it gently, like a parent scolding their child, guiding him further away from his intended destination and farther through spindly alleyways that look less safe - but no one is out to leer, or loom. he'll have to trust their instincts, and make note of a few landmarks for himself.]

[It's in Sutoku territory, where he hasn't always ventured in these late hours. Shuttered shops, the occasional bright fluorescent white of a still-open convenience store-- all give way to a dizzying maze of alleyways. Still, Hibiki seems to recognize them, and soon Kamui will too, if his memory holds out. (It will. He's navigated through worse.)]

A bar, maybe, Hibiki-san?

No. But you can drink, if it pleases you.

[eventually, they stop and turn into a narrow doorway with violet curtains which opens into a small lobby - candles burn to light the place, and Hibiki exchanges a few murmured words with the youkai at the front, one whose eyes are red, whose hair is short and an odd shade of blue green, in a robe that seems to shimmer from the candlelight. the entire establishment seems at odds with the bustle of the modern world only a short way off, yet nothing can be heard to suggest that.

the host gestures them to follow, and Hibiki does, assured that Kamui would be close behind. behind sliding doors illuminated enough to show they're occupied, different snatches of fragrance are past the different rooms. this one more spicy, this one more floral - gone swiftly as they pass. and then they come to one where they are allowed to go in, a room more like a booth with a tatami mat and floor pillows, where a lantern hangs overhead and lights from their presence. most notable is the table in the center, bearing an ornate incense burner.

settling down on a pillow without more preamble, Hibiki looks sideways at Kamui.]

Did you want something?

[they're fine with or without refreshments, but consider it a gift for coming with them.]

[An incense shop. Kamui guesses that much the moment they go through those curtains: one step inside fills the nose with the lingering, overlapping spicy-sweet scents of candles and incense. The shopkeeper youkai gives the two of them a polite smile and nod-- their gaze lingering on Kamui, eyes searching, for an additional moment before they lead the way.

It's nice, thinks Kamui, as the youkai slides their door shut. He sits seiza on the pillow across from Hibiki; exhaling with a soft sigh, it's like he's already releasing some of this built-up pressure.]

Some tea instead, if you like.

[He only drinks with company, really.]

[the shopkeeper nods, and Hibiki leans back as they leave, breathing in the air in the booth - right now, untouched by incense. one had to clear the head first before this, and then they could appreciate the subtleties of the smoke.]

You said you feel senseless. Were you always attuned to the boundaries?

[Like Hakagemachi, his status as an Observer is no real secret. It's not something to speak of carelessly or without cause, however, so he waits for the shopkeeper's footsteps to die away into silence before he nods.]

They call beings like me "observers". I was born human and live as one, but at some point, I realized I was was aware of, and able to traverse, planes just outside of human awareness. Like looking out a window no one knows exists... and climbing through it.

[Kamui rests his hands over his thighs, smoothing down the creases in his slacks.]

I should have arrived to my next point on the timeline. [Leaving Travis, jumping on to the future.] With my senses dulled, I'm not sure if that is here.

Do you know what you were headed for, at that point, or why it was critical to arrive?

[their wings stretch out some more, like a human might let their arms go out when comfortable, or legs sprawl. after a day of keeping them close, it's easier to simply let them be out.]

Or are you accustomed to living your life point to point without thinking of the spaces and the time between?

[The effect is striking, as he's far more accustomed to Emily keeping their wings as unobtrusive as possible-- it emphasizes how different Hibiki is, that Kamui is, truly, speaking to someone else entirely.]

I never know why. But I know it's my responsibility to follow the points wherever they may lead.

[He ducks his head a little as he mulls over that second question.]

So the time between is... [He trails off as the host re-enters, setting down a handsome-looking tea set: the tea's fresh fragrance fills the room as well as any incense might. Kamui mutters his thanks as they leave, then turns back to Hibiki.]

It doesn't exist. Or it didn't.

In other words, you haven't been bothering to live in the interim.

[leaning back on an arm, they laugh a little.]

I know, you may not have been able to. But the way you phrase it, you never thought to try and do so - and now that you actually have room outside of your purpose, it's unnerving. A salaryman on a forced vacation, cut off from the office.

[as they speak, the host returns, this time with another elegant dish but smaller, with a few small pressed discs in it. Hibiki shakes their head slightly, and they nod, leaving as quietly as they came. now the tengu moves forward, touching the side of the incense burner which comes to life, the charcoal within warming and a small flame forming there.

they'll perform this rite, to give Kamui some more privacy. it'll take a second for the heat to be warm enough, though.]

[He's had orders. Responsibilities. A purpose predestined for him with the very name he bears. How could he have done anything besides being Kamui Uehara?

(But weren't there other Kamuis lying dormant? They couldn't all be this way, could they?)]

...Yes.

[He watches them turn the incense burner on with the dull gaze of a scolded child. Kamui feels a bit like one, too, with Hibiki prodding right into his underbelly, then bringing a light forth for him-- literally. How positively unsubtle.

Kamui shifts on his knees, folding himself up cross-legged instead. He stares down into his empty cup of tea, wracking his brain for a reply.]

My friend, he-- [No. How does he want to say this? He shakes his head, beginning again.] My friend told me to live in the light. That was the last conversation I had with anyone, before I arrived.

I just don't know how to do that yet.

[taking the container off the top of the burner, they break the discs into small pieces, putting one from each into the holder, and setting it all back in. every movement is careful, graceful - as much as a tea ceremony might be, so are the steps of incense, particularly when meant to clear the mind. soothing the self, and hopefully allowing him to breathe it in and let go of some of his hesitation for the moment.]

Admitting you don't know means you've already taken several steps forward. Once you are lost, you can start to find the path forward - even if it doesn't take the form you expect.

[slowly, the pieces start to melt in their dish, and wisps of smoke begin to rise up. to Kamui, what will come through is cedar, sandalwood, and something that somehow calls up leaves after rain. if he closes his eyes, it gives a suggestion of being elsewhere, not locked in the streets of Hell.]

Your friend was a wise one, to tell you what he did.

[The practiced steps of the incense burning are almost as soothing to watch as the scent is to breathe in. He doesn't pour his tea until Hibiki has finished; by then, they've gotten all of their words out, too, and Kamui's shoulders have slumped a little lower as he takes their advice in. To heart.

He does close his eyes, inhaling that incense smell deeply. Hell fades, for a moment, and Kamui remembers the East Coast, the days it had rained while he waited for his next point, the heavy sound of droplets striking his hotel window and the odor of wet earth and asphalt that hung in the air when he finally walked outside.

At the mention of his friend, Kamui squints out at Hibiki through his right eye, then straightens back up again, opening both eyes now.]

He-- Trav, he can be too blunt, or act really stupid sometimes, a-and it can get him in trouble... but he is wise, when he needs to be. And he's kind.

[Awkwardly, he settles back down.] He believed in me. So, I owe it to him, to look for that path forward.

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bless you for tolerating #sudadialogue

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